My desire to come to St Gertrude's did not come about as a gradual need or want.  The thoughts of getting away and relaxing weren't the motivation either.  The incredible heart pounding need came to me in the middle of the night like an unexpected thunderclap or bolt of lightening.  I awoke in the middle of the night and cried into the dark: "Help me!"

 As He does when you lay your soul bare God heard me and He led me here to St. Gertrude.  He brought me to the Sisters who have, without reservation, taken me in and have already taught me so much about love and community.

I have learned that through listening with my heart open wide God is with me in all I do.  It is amazing what you can hear in the silence of contemplation.  I now know that God has always been with me, I just wasn't listening.  I didn't hear Him when He said, "Trust Me." or "I am here." because I wouldn't allow myself to feel worthy of Him.  God on the other hand WAS listening.  He heard my cry for help and He was there.

I look forward to my remaining time here at St. Gertrude and all that I will learn.  I will continue to listen with my heart and discover more of how the Lord loves me.  I am truly blessed!

Jamie King
Monastic Immersion
June 12, 2012