Peering Beyond the Prayer Book: The Daily Routine at the Monastery of St. Gertrude

Always something new scheduled on our many bulletin boards

The times and activities can be seen on any of the weekly schedules (always with some inevitable variation). The schedule exists, however, not for it’s own sake, but with the continuous call to something greater.

7:30 – Breakfast

Each day begins with breakfast in silence. Even for me as a morning person, this is such a wonderful start to the day. While I may have been awake and already gotten ready for the day, it is a joy to eat quietly knowing that I will not become intellectually comatose from being socially obligated to chitchat. It should also be noted that, “The Great Silence,” is respected from 9pm to 9am each day. This means, as one might expect, that talking and noise is kept to a minimum, and one is likely to be left alone until after Morning Praise. This slow yet methodical start helps ease me into the day, setting the pace for the rest of the day as productive and deliberate, without a frenetic energy.

 8:30 – Morning Praise

Each prayer begins with a series of chimes and bells, gently calling all to prayer. The essential feature of this call to prayer is that it comes ten minutes before the start time, allowing ample time for everyone to arrive calmly, ready to pray rather than skidding in at the last minute, frenzied and distracted. There is one other benefit to arriving sooner rather than later, for if one is sitting quietly before prayer begins, one might notice the special quiet that emerges as people have settled. The feeling of a unified calm yet expectant anticipation becomes apparent from within the quiet, awaiting the transformation of our individual prayers becoming communal. No longer does the individual exists within or even as the self, but there is a merging and melding together, creating a greater whole. I can only describe this experience as truly becoming “one body,” for our prayers are for the whole world, honoring and giving voice to all.

The literal call to prayer, using the speakerphone

11:30 – Eucharist, Dinner

After morning praise, everyone attends to their work and responsibilities, stopping when the bells again call us to prayer. As Sr. Teresa Jackson has said in one of her explanations of the daily schedule, “Prayer doesn’t interrupt work. Work interrupts prayer.” I try to remember this phrase as I grumble to myself about never seeming to have enough time to finish any of my tasks when I would like. Then I remember that there is a time and a place for everything, and right now, it is time to pray. Everything else can wait; it will be there when I return.

What I find remarkable in this celebration of Eucharist is the ways in which the community interacts. I see a surprising tenderness from the Eucharistic Ministers, heartfelt signs of peace, and a dedication to each member by ensuring that everyone will be able to come and go from Mass. This dedication entails that several sisters help guide the sisters of the Sunshine Wing (also known as the infirmary) back to their rooms. This is how I see the Gospel lived out – through these small gestures that reveal Christ in each of us. When I worked at St. Francis Inn, a soup kitchen in Philadelphia, there was a sign on the inside of the main door. It was rather faded, and looked as if it had been there for years (and is still there today), but the message was and is still as clear as ever: Under a smiling face was written, “SMILE, Jesus is at the door.”  - a constant reminder of the respect, kindness, and humility with which everyone deserves to be treated. It seems that, even over 2,000 miles away, this message is clearly active here as well.

I am not surprised that our main spiritual meal is directly followed by our main physical meal of the day. It would be as if the rest of the day was wiped away and if our entire day existed in just these few hours, it would be enough. Life would have meaning, purpose, and practical sustenance. To further emphasize this point, dinner begins and ends with grace and thanksgiving for what we have. Our actions in prayer would sustain our lives to attain physical nourishment, which would feed us enough to continue to pray, and in this way can we change the world.

5:00 – Evening Prayer, Supper

Again the bell calls us to prayer. I thought I would escape such an authority once I graduated high school, and yet here again do I find myself spurred into movement by another bell. This time, however, there are not the same consequences. I do not have to go to prayer. No one will say anything. I could finish another chapter of the book I am reading, or watch tv, or get a head start on supper, if I really wanted. Yet day after day, I come to prayer. Why? Besides the reasons I have previously mentioned, there is something to be said for the tradition. Benedictines have been praying for 1500 years. One of the women here continues to remind me of this, and she says, “If I choose not to go to prayer, if we all chose not to go, who will?” There is tremendous intentionality in our prayer, but it is quite easy to lose sight of why we are there.

Evening prayer has become my favorite prayer time as the daylight hours continue to diminish, for there is a certain atmosphere that occurs when it is dark. Even more meaningful for me is the Advent tradition of holy darkness. During each week of Advent, we begin each evening prayer in darkness, singing part of the hymn, “Holy Darkness.” When I say “in darkness,” I do not mean with lights dimmed or lots of candles or something like that, I mean real darkness. The lights are all shut off and for a moment there is no source of light at all. That is, except one. The candle near the tabernacle, known as the sanctuary lamp, is the only candle lit in the darkest moment, perhaps designating this time and space as sanctuary for the world. Soon, the Advent candles are lit and a cantor comes to the podium. Each week, a different verse of “Holy Darkness” is sung, but the refrain (sung by the whole community) remains the same: “Holy darkness, blessed night, / heaven’s answer hidden from our sight. / As we await you, O God of Silence, / we embrace your holy night.” While we continue to sing about holy darkness, the Advent wreath reminds all of us of the growing light of the hope in the coming Jesus.

I suppose part of the reason I have come here would be to try and see “heaven’s answer” for myself, seeking meaning and understanding for my life. Now I might say that is a bit presumptuous to demand and search out such answers, but I am continuously reminded of the God of Silence, with the gentle call to embrace the nights of meaninglessness, knowing the light of hope continues to shine softly, and that someday, the dawn will come again.

Peering Beyond the Prayer Book: Preface



What really goes on in there?


It’s official: I have been living in the Monastery of St. Gertrude in Cottonwood, Idaho for three months. Taking into consideration that I have come all the way from Upstate New York and I am twenty-three years old, this seems even more remarkable. After three months, I have started to get a handle on the routine here, like the daily schedule and where the dishes go, and I have started to find some of my favorite places, such as a certain spot in the dining room. I have even started to get used to the irregularities, such as that Tuesdays and Saturdays are usually midday praise and not Mass, supper is before prayer on Saturday evening, and that the midday meal is called dinner and the evening meal is supper (normally lunch and dinner to me).

                      

Despite all this familiarity however, I still find myself puzzling over the people themselves. I am sorry to admit, but sometimes my attention wanders (specifically during prayer), and I tend to focus instead on the people around me. Here are about 30 women with whom I pray, work, and live, yet all I know is a handful of facts that really tell me nothing about who they are as individuals and as a community. Even more worrying is that beyond the chapel walls are the dedicated staff and volunteers, who essentially keep this place running, and I know even less about these individuals.

My goal since arriving in Idaho has been to let people know what is in Idaho, and even more specifically, what is in Cottonwood, Idaho at the Monastery of St. Gertrude. Before I came the only thing my family and friends knew was that potatoes came from Idaho. One marvelous aspect that I have found in this area has been a value for the recollection of history. I have been surprised to see so much history here at the Monastery, and then there are so many old objects as well! What I mean is that the stories and experiences of the people detail the history of this monastic community and of the world at large. To talk with people who have more than three times the years of wisdom as I do is quite a humbling experience, and I am reminded of the hymn we often sing that states, “We come to share our story, we come to break the bread, we come to know our rising from the dead.” By coming together in community, in any shape or form, our stories expand together into a larger story, inextricably linking us all together into one human family. For me, this would be the best story to share, and I am ready to listen, learn and appreciate, and then share these voices from this corner of the world.

So then, where to begin? What would I like to know about the sisters and staff here at the Monastery of St. Gertrude? After much thought, I returned to the Benedictine motto I have often heard, “Ora et Labora,” or “Prayer and Work.” The prayer life thus far has been everything I could expect. The work life, on the other hand, is relatively undefined beyond my own responsibilities. I know more or less where everyone works, but much of what each individual does day in and day out is still a mystery to me. I have developed my own schedule and routines and still it feels as if I have barely scratched the surface of what I can learn about monastic life. If I truly want this to be a monastic immersion experience, then I need to take the plunge and immerse myself fully into the monastic lifestyle, starting by finding out what people do with their time and how it fits within the community as a whole. To pray and work, according to St. Benedict, is the means to live a balanced life, and since balance is exactly what I was looking for here, the choice becomes apparent.

So this is where I shall begin: I will interview people within various departments and with different responsibilities. I will offer my services as a “professional volunteer” (and yes, that is on my resumé) in exchange for some time to ask each person about what they do and why. Through this I hope to learn more about the community here, the Benedictine way of life, and especially more about each person individually, reflecting on individual and communal stories. When the prayer book is set down, I want to see how the words said come to life in action, and I hope I am open enough for my story to be changed in the process.

Wish me luck,

Sarah

Miracle's reflections from a summer monastic immersion

A Benedictine heart with a call to the world

“Everyone needs to feel at home, to feel earthed, for it is impossible to say, Who am I? without first asking, Where am I? Whence have I come? Where am I going? Without roots we can neither discover where we belong, nor can we grow.  Without stability we cannot confront the basic questions of life.  Without stability we cannot know our true selves.”[1]  Feeling at home, finding stability, and reflecting on my life are exactly what St. Gertrude’s Monastery provided for me.  A space to first be who I am and reflect on whose I am.  At this time in my life, I am finding myself at an intersection of counseling, education, and spirituality.  It is without any doubt after a year of many doubts that God has placed me exactly where I am meant to be.  Upon returning from my time at St. Gertrude’s, the phrase a Benedictine heart with a call to the world, was central in my naming what the three weeks meant for my journey and also where I am to go after my three weeks in Idaho.

The sisters at St. Gertrude’s taught me what it means to be Benedictine, to seek God above all else[2].  They demonstrated St. Benedict’s understanding of living out your relationship with God practically in life through making time for prayer, work, and study.  They modeled that there is “no separation of prayer and life”[3].   While I was at St. Gertrude’s I must admit, I deeply experienced a home in which I could live out my relationship with God.  It was with much discernment and returning back to Boston that confirmed my place is within the world.  However, my new question is asking God and I believe God is walking with me to show me the answer, how am I to live out my life with you here in this world?  My relationship with God is center to how I live in this world.  Out of my relationship with God, I will live and serve in ministry.  It is from that stability that I now am learning my place in this world, to create space and help others find what it is that centers them in God.           

I firmly believe that as adults we can gain in our understanding of self through reflecting on our childhood and important memories either from our own remembering or through oral tradition within our families.  Two important memories stand out for me that are surely the work of God in my life.  When I was two, my family started to attend church after the loss of my maternal grandmother.  My mom recalls my first Sunday at what is now my home church in Virginia.  It was time for the children’s message and I stated, “I am not going up there.”  Where that strong little voice came from at two, I have no idea.  She said I watched and listened, but did not move from the pew I sat.  The following Sunday, without any prompting, I went up for the children’s message.  I am so grateful for my mother recalling that memory because it is key to understanding who I am today.  I am an observer.  I first observe my situation, make an assessment, and then I determine where I fit or how I will insert myself.  I know that not all circumstances in life will allow this type of observation, however when appropriate I incorporate this method into life as necessary.  As the Youth Pastor for Lincoln Park Baptist Church this year, I followed the same method when starting my time there two weeks ago. 

The second childhood memory comes from my niece who is only five years younger than me.  She remembers us playing school where I would never allow her to be the teacher; yes I was quite bossy as a child I guess or assertive depending upon how one assesses that situation.     Over the last year, I have needed that memory in my discernment of where God is leading me -- the parish, the educational setting, or beyond.  Regardless of what setting I am serving within, I am a teacher.  That is the style in which I am most comfortable.  When I reframe I am preaching on a given Sunday at my home church in VA to I am teaching at my church this Sunday, my level of anxiety decreases tremendously.  When I was at the monastery, I helped the sisters present for a weekend retreat on spirituality.  In preparing myself for that time because yes I happened to be the opening night’s presentation, I thought of it as teaching and provided handouts from the resource I read from to share with the Catholic Daughters of Idaho.  Since returning from my time at the monastery, when appropriate I have shared the handout with students and faculty in a way of teaching and sharing from my own experience, which feels the most natural to me.  I have also shared within the Introduction to Christian Worship course during the class session on Daily Prayer.  That experience was significant to me for several reasons.  I was comfortable in that setting, shared from my own experience, and taught from that place of learning to others.

My time at the monastery was formative in reminding me where my stability comes from, incorporating spiritual disciplines into my life, and discerning where God is calling me to serve in the world.  It is at this point of intersection that I stand and walk with God.  I carry the monastic immersion experience with me as I immerse myself into the life of a student, the Spiritual Life Office, and Baptist Church Children’s Ministry.  I pray that my desire for seeking God above all else is never lost and that I will continue to assess myself on a regular basis to listen for what I need to remain centered in God.  I continue to discern my place in this world by seeking Clinical Pastoral Education settings within a children’s hospital this summer.  And I know now that I will only live out this call to the world by nourishing my relationship with God before anything else.

---

[1] Esther deWaal, Seeking God:  The Way of St. Benedict.  (Collegeville:  The Liturgical Press, 2001), 56. 

[2] deWaal, 7.

[3] deWaal, 11.

Margo's Monastic Immersion Experience

Greetings from St. Gertrudes!

         I think it would be best to start this blog with giving you a little better understanding of
what a Monastic Immersion Experience actually is.

        Monastic comes from the word monk. Monk, besides the obvious one we think of as a man wearing a robe, living, praying and working within the walls of a monastery really means "a call to seek God above all else, a deep desire and hunger for a deeper relationship with God". Monasticism is a spiritual call, a way of life, a set of values, priorities and structures. St. Benedict wrote THE RULE for people who wanted to seek God in community. THE RULE creates a holistic, comprehensive, structured way of life that is oriented toward seeking God.  The good news today in the 21st century is that THE RULE can be lived by everyone, inside and outside of monasteries.

        So now that you have a better understanding of what Monastic means let us move on to what Immersion means. Webster's Dictionary defines it as means to engross the attention of, engage deeply, to absorb. Absorb means to suck up, take in, engage wholly.

      I apologize to those of you who were checking for my blog postings during the past three weeks. The Holy Spirit helped me to understand why I wasn't able to blog my experiences any sooner than  now. It's was because I needed to experience the whole 3 weeks so that when I did share it, it would give you the complete picture instead of snippets here and there that wouldn't tie together.

     So let me begin by giving you an idea of what a typical day would look like.

    7:30 a.m. Breakfast
    8:30 a.m. Morning prayer Chapel
  11:30 or 11:40 a.m. Mass/Eucharist or Mid-day Praise Chapel
  12 noon or 12:15 p.m. Dinner (Big meal of the day)
    5:00 p.m. Evening prayer Chapel
    5:30 p.m. Supper (more like our lunch)

On Tuesday and Thursday evenings at 7 p.m. we would have a class with Sister Teresa on Monasticism, Benedict's RULE, Psalms and Lectio Divino Divina. Lectio is a letting oneself be transformed by the slow reading of Scripture. We would also have group discussion.

   As you can see by the schedule we had 3 meals a day and 3 times of prayer or mostly 2 times of prayer moring and evening with Mass in the latter part of the morning. In Benedict's Rule, they would have to stop  what they were doing and pray 8 times a day.  You can not experience physical or spiritual starvation at St. Gertrudes unless you choose not eat at the good sisters' dining tables or not participate at Mass and partake of Holy Communion at Jesus' banquet table.

     "All you who are thirsty, come to the water; you who have no money, come receive grain and eat; come without paying and without cost, drink wine and milk". Isaiah 55:1

     We were also spiritually supplemented by Father Meinrad's daily homilies based on the Scriptue readings for the day. The focus the first week was on the Eucharist, Jesus' Body and Blood. My understanding and gratitude for this great give of love from Jesus have been raised to new heights.

     So we daily we had our physical and spiritual smorgasbords!

     As previously mentioned above, the Praying of the Psalms is central to Benedict's Rule.  I do not feel that my words are adequate to fully explain why this was so important. I have asked Sister Teresa Jackson's permission to use part of her words from her article in the Canticle of St. Gertrude entitled " WHY WE PRAY TOGETHER", which are as follows:

    "Let's start at the beginning: When the bell rings, the world no longer revolves around me.  I am called to come to silence, in openness, to a place that is only about prayer, a place where all of us come to sink into the presence of God, to open our hearts to the needs of a hurting world.

   In coming together in our prayer, we recite the psalms that remind us how much bigger our world and our God is than our limited ability can imagine. We stretch our hearts in proclaiming the tremendous joy of the psalmist in praising the God who is creator, sustainer, source of all life and power.

   When we gather together, we enter into the world of prayer where the deep hurts and divisions of our community are brought to a truce. Together as we pray the psalms, the prayers of an ancient community, and the Our Father, the prayer of our Christian community, we experience a tentative reaching out to one another, a holding of hands, the beginnings of healing. We come into prayers as broken people, as the stubborn, stiff-necked people of the desert, the Pharisees who have safely domesticated God, the people who can not see their own limitations and lack of forgiveness. Here is prayer the people of hardened hearts are given another opportunity to receive a heart of flesh, to forgive and be forgiven. We do it for ourselves, we do it on behalf of people who have no such opportunity to come together, in comunity, to pray multiple times a day, to have their hearts broken open."

    Needless to say I now have a much greater appreciation for the psalms.

    The monastic community at St. Gertrude's reminds me of the ant colony I observed the other day on the top of a hill between two trees. The swarm of ants were busily running back and forth, up and down this tree to accomplish whatever their very important task was.  I noticed that it was never about a single ant's ego or agenda. Everything was about survival, well being, structure, good orderly direction, service and the common good of all the ants.

    I observed just the same thing here at St. Gertrudes on a daily basis. A true sense of community where everyone cares and looks after each other. Each sister takes her turn in the rotation system that is in place to do whatever task is needed.  The stronger sisters take care of the weaker sisters who are in the infirmary and wheelchair bound by pushing them to and from prayer and Mass. Each sister selflessly and humbly uses their God given talents and abilities to keep the community moving forward on a daily basis but also to insure the
future of St. Gertrudes. Being such a small community, the sisters go from task to task.  ( I wouldn't say running like the ants but walking rather quickly).  My mother would say, "Cleanliness is next to Godliness" and she was right. Everyday something big or small is being cleaned in the monastery. Yet it is done with a sense of reverence and peacefulness as the sisters and the staff go about their cleaning. You can feel God's presence in the midst of their everyday ordinary tasks.  I assure you that the ants do not have anything over on the sisters and staff at St. Gertrudes!

    At the end of the busy day, the sisters settle into their moments of relaxation, hobbies or private moments of silence, prayer and meditation. As I would walk the  halls of the monastery at night most times I was all alone. Occasionally I would come accross another soul seeking something to snack on or a nice soothing mug of tea from the dining hall. I felt an overwhelming sense of security and serenity in the stillness of the night.

    I will now try to describe what my part of volunteering here entailed. Upon arriving the first day we were told "Everyone does dishes, pots and pans". So I was assigned to washing and drying pots and pans after our noonday dinner. I mostly dried. Sisters Katie and Agness did the washing. They sure could scrub those pots and pans!!! Next we were told that everyone has to help pick the raspberrries off the bushes out back
on Mons., Weds., and Fridays. Well, we got here at the end of raspberry season so we would go out and be lucky if we could get a half a can. Another day, we went to pick apples right off the tree from the house of one of the staff here.

    My main assignment was to work with Sister Corinne at the Inn which is St. Gertrudes Bed N Breakfast. I was very happy with this placement as I told Sister Teresa that hospitality was something that I had grown up with in my home.  My tasks were to strip the beds, wash and dry the sheets and towels, remake the beds, clean bathrooms, dust and vacuum so the rooms would be freshly clean when our next guests arrived. Every night I would water the plants and shrubs out side the Inn. It was always so peaceful as the sun was setting, the moon was rising and as I watched the 3 little deer graze in the field next to the Inn. Some days I was in silence and by myself  and other days I would be there helping Sister Corinne, then we would sit and have good conversation sipping our ice tea. My soul was at great peace doing these very simple tasks slowly and intentionally.

    I was very happy that I would be here at St. Gertrudes for both the Blessed Mother's Feast Days; the Assumption on 8/15 and her Coronation on 8/22. A day before the Assumption , Sister Channelle asked me if I would take a ride with her to Lois' house to cut some flowers for the Sanctuary to honor the Blessed Mother. I immmediately said yes, as I love to bring the Blessed Mother flowers. We gathered the most beautiful gladiolas and dahlias in colors of pink, orange, purple, yellow and white. I know the Blessed Mother was soo happy.

   I was soon delighted again when I found out that there was a statue of the Blessed Mother up in the Grotto, up the hill, near the Stations of the Cross. At 6 p.m. each  night armed with my prayer book and multi-colored rosary that Sister Valine had given me, I would climb the steep path huffing and puffing. I would think of Jesus and how he had to climb all the way to Calvary carrying the heavy cross in such physical agony. I would say, " Jesus have mercy on me a sinner. Thank you Jesus! Thank you Jesus"!

    In her great love for me, the Blessed Mother had bestowed on me the following gifts during my time at St. Gertrudes. A new appreciation for the powerfulness of saying the rosary. My new brown scapular which is Mary's Garment from her appearance at Fatima as Our Lady of Carmel and her promise that if  I  wear it devoutly and perseveringly, it means that I am continually thinking of her and in turn that she is always thinking of me and helping me and she will help to secure eternal life for me.

   The best blessing from the Blessed Mother was a 4 volume book called "City of God, The Divine History and Life of the Virgin Mother of God Vol. 1 The Conception" that Sister Valine lent me to read. The Blessed Mother gave these revalations to Sister Mary of Agreda in Spain in 1637. She tells of the great love God has for his Creation and out of that great love He created her to be the Mother of His Son, His spouse, the Bride of the Church and the instrument that would begin his great Salvation Plan. She tells Sister Mary of the great mysteries that have never been spoken of in the Bible. The title of the bok refers to the Blessed Mother as the "City of God" because she is the new City of Jerusalem, the new holy temple where God will dwell. The Blessed Mother also mentors Sister Mary with directions to fear and reverence God, live a life that is pleasing to God and obediently and humbly follows God's will. I feel privileged to be privy to the knowledge of such mysteries and instructions from the Blessed Mother. THANK YOU BLESSED MOTHER!!!!!

   I came to St. Gertrudes seeeking God's presence and to hear his voice speaking to my soul in this sacred place, but more importantly in the silence of my heart. I came to hear with the "ears of my heart". About a week into my stay here, the Holy Spirit told that I was becoming to easily distracted and needed to go into 5 days of silence, to withdraw and spend time alone with God. Good call Holy Spirit! I would have missed out on some of my greatest blessings that came from the silence. God spoke to me  through the many things that I had the time to read. I felt like I was enrolled in the Holy Spirit College of Higher Learning. My mind felt like a sponge,  absorbing, sucking up, taking in, engage wholly.

I came also asking God for some discerment if He is calling me a a religious vocation. He hasn't answered the question yet, but in His infinite wisdom and grace He did call me to a higher level of spiritual understanding which has brought me to a new depth in my relationship with him. These past three weeks, God has continued to transform me into my true authentic self which was made in his Image and likeness. The call He has for my life right now until further notice, is to be the best Christian that I can be.

  So in conclusion, I would resoundly say that I have been thoroughly immersed in this monastic experience at St. Gertrudes. I have been blessed beyond measure. Thank you Holy Trinity and Blessed Mother. Thank you to the dear sisters for welcoming and embracing me, for all your kindnesses, your words of wisdom and encouragement, and
your prayers.

                                                                              With Much Love & Gratitude,

                                                                                      
                                                                                            Margo

   

Journeys

I went for a walk one day to the monastery cemetery.  Along the trail to the cemetery there are Stations of The Cross, a sculptural representation of Jesus' journey to his Crucifixion.  At each station is one sentence telling of what is occurring at that moment: Jesus Condemned to Dying, Jesus Carrying the Cross, Jesus meeting His Blessed Mother, Jesus being Nailed to the Cross, Jesus being Laid in the Sepulchre.  As I passed each one it was like I was traveling that journey with Him.  I felt sadness that he was condemned so unjustly, despair that He endured so much pain, sorrow at the thought of what He sacrificed for us to understand and then joy for His coming resurrection - a second chance for us all. 

Walking through His story helped me to understand that no matter what I encounter in life I know that He is walking through my journey with me.  I arrived at the cemetery feeling peaceful and loved.  I looked at the rows of markers, each engraved with a name - a name of a Sister, Brother or Father that also walked that journey with Jesus.  I was overwhelmed with emotions when I thought of what absolute faith they must have had to commit their life to God with their complete heart and soul.  There is a Cross with Jesus protecting these souls , a Cross that I could only look at and pray that someday I would have their level of faith and love in my heart.

While I was there I took pictures.  When I looked at them later I was, again, overwhelmed with a feeling that God understood my prayer.  I have struggled with what to put for a caption for this picture.  I thought at first was that it warranted some long description - but it doesn't.  Two small words are all that are needed -


                                          PURE LOVE.






Jamie King
July, 2012

My desire to come to St Gertrude's did not come about as a gradual need or want.  The thoughts of getting away and relaxing weren't the motivation either.  The incredible heart pounding need came to me in the middle of the night like an unexpected thunderclap or bolt of lightening.  I awoke in the middle of the night and cried into the dark: "Help me!"

 As He does when you lay your soul bare God heard me and He led me here to St. Gertrude.  He brought me to the Sisters who have, without reservation, taken me in and have already taught me so much about love and community.

I have learned that through listening with my heart open wide God is with me in all I do.  It is amazing what you can hear in the silence of contemplation.  I now know that God has always been with me, I just wasn't listening.  I didn't hear Him when He said, "Trust Me." or "I am here." because I wouldn't allow myself to feel worthy of Him.  God on the other hand WAS listening.  He heard my cry for help and He was there.

I look forward to my remaining time here at St. Gertrude and all that I will learn.  I will continue to listen with my heart and discover more of how the Lord loves me.  I am truly blessed!

Jamie King
Monastic Immersion
June 12, 2012

Behaving Myself in the House of Love: Lessons in Hospitality

 by Theresa Henson

I am learning that the rhythm of a Monastery is slow and steady. The bells toll at the same time each day for prayer. Anything you do will ultimately be interrupted by the bells and the effect on work is that the day’s tasks stay succulent with space and light.

Day after day, these bells have an effect on me where I feel my rough edges begin to smooth over and the crinkled places start to smooth out. Sister Miriam says the Monastery is like a rock tumbler and we are the rocks. The rhythm and the effect of being in monastic daily life smooths us over and makes the ordinary shine.

The bells also delineate time, which gives space. I am coming to believe that space is the essence of hospitality – a Benedictine value that is studied diligently and earnestly expressed by this community. Why? Because hospitality is spiritually essential. Receiving one another, offering the gift of spaciousness to each other, we choose to not interfere with the divine presence of healing and inspiration that abounds.

To walk amongst those who have made a lifetime commitment to the Rule of Benedict (or the Rule of Listening as I would call it), I am always being received and being heard. There is always space for me here. Nobody is trying to fix me. I am welcomed. There is simply a fundamental invitation to prayer and community – two things that mediate encounters with the ultimate healer.

I think Benedict must have known that we are all strange and courageous mysteries that have survived great challenges to be where we are in our lives. The Monastery fosters reverence. Benedict gave simple guidelines to honor one another. To be hospitable is to celebrate that within another person that has rallied and chosen life.

In this space of love I realize that there is no more need for certain defenses. Internalized criticisms show up simply for what they are and so I can let them go. I achieve more freedom and a greater capacity and desire to offer the same spaciousness to others.