Peering Beyond the Prayer Book: The Call

There are certainly no prairies in New York.

Over the course of my time here at the Monastery of St. Gertrude’s, I have repeatedly heard that to seek God alone above all else is a call to monasticism. While I have spent time pondering this thought, I have also been in the process of applying to graduate schools, not for anything based in religion or theology but instead for musicology. How is it that a prospective music professor from Upstate New York ends up at a monastery in the middle of nowhere, thousands of miles away from her friends and family? The only answer I can honestly give is that I was called. I do not mean that God or anything like that picked up the telephone, dialed my number, and left me a voicemail saying that I should go to Idaho; nothing quite that dramatic. I do, however, believe there is something that draws you, me, and all of us to certain things in our lives. That may be the voice of God, but in more secular terms, I believe it is simply this desire to be part of something greater than our selves.

What sparked this idea for me originally came from answering the question of why I was here. Many guests I have met have asked if I am interested in becoming a nun. While evidence would make this a logical conclusion, I find myself firmly saying, “No.” When reflecting on my reasoning, why I don’t want to be a nun, it seems that as much as there is a call to religious life, so do I feel called away from religious life. The call, for me, is to something else, somewhere else.

Maybe I'm called to live in the bustling city of Denver

This concept of the call was confirmed for me during a recent trip to Denver. One opportunity I had while there was to visit a potential school and meet the musicology faculty. After giving the “nutshell” version of what I have been doing since my undergraduate graduation, one of the professors commented about how the call to musicology seems similar to the call to monasticism. Immediately, the parallel use of “the call” resonated with me, attesting to the truth of the draw for each of us as individuals. What draws me to musicology, I believe, is the same draw to religious life; the same draw that an allergist, a mechanic, a trapeze artist, a zookeeper, etc. all feel towards their ultimate career goals. When I brought up this subject with a friend, he reminded me that this call is not limited to career choice. We are called in our lives, throughout our whole life. I can speak to my own experience of the call I felt at different points in my life. As a child, my call was to do well in school, respect my parents, and play nice with my brother and sister. My college career was answering the call to study music. After college, I felt called to a year of service, and now I have been called here to Cottonwood, ID. My friends have been called to other things, such as the armed forces, marriage, or parenthood. We are all responding to this call in whatever ways we can, ultimately answering the call of God or whatever higher power to live fully; to truly become who we already are.

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I, / I took the one less traveled by, / and that has made all the difference." - from Robert Frost's "The Road Not Taken"

So this time I leave you with a question (or several questions). What is your call? Where and to what are you being called? How are you answering your call?

A post-script thought: The last time I saw my boyfriend, when he was handing me my things, he slipped me a card that said, “Through you, God’s love is shown.” Maybe I really am seeking God above all else.